A report card for the Grand Coalition

This is an end-of-year report card for the grand coalition. I suggest we grade it on two things; effort and achievement. Overall, the government gets a “D-plus” for effort and an “E” for achievement.

I have two reasons for this modest grade. One, this government is built on a lie. What the two principals shared was positions, not power.

In fact, the 50:50 power deal was a fat lie. It did not happen, it will not happen! On this account, Mr Raila Odinga was cheated yet again. The record must reflect that President Kibaki has never won a straight election.

In 2002, he defrauded Mr Odinga through the MoU. In 2007, they had to swear him in at night. And this deceit continues to unfold in the coalition. Although ODM is in ‘power’, all they have is an illusion of power.

The result is political impotence: they want to act, but they cannot! But my second reason is more tragic.

In this coalition, the president has behaved like the proverbial ‘dog in a manger’.

This dog did not eat grass, but it guarded the manger to ensure that the cows did not eat either. Its point? If it cannot have the grass, no one has a right to eat it.

And this is President Kibaki’s approach to power. He is not interested in it, but he will not allow anyone else to have it. The result of this is paralysis in the running of Government.

This is why I give the coalition an “E” on achievement. Similarly, and on this account, I suggest we give the president a “D minus” for effort and a “C plus” for performance. And this is because, instead of giving us ‘cruel rule’ he has given us ‘no rule’.

Let us grade the other members of the ‘matatu’ presidency now. Regarding the Prime Minister Raila Odinga, I submit that he has done his best. And for this, I give him a straight “A” for effort.

However, and because he is powerless, I give him a “C plus” on performance. But I have another reason for this and I want to give it by way of a story.

A French entomologist took a caterpillar and placed it on the rim of a flower pot. Inside the pot, he placed the caterpillar’s favourite food — pine needles.

The caterpillar began to crawl around the rim of the pot, smelling the food and desperately wanting to get closer. According to the scientist, the caterpillar crawled around the rim for seven days and nights without being able to reach the food.

Having failed, but still attempting to, the caterpillar died of starvation. Each time the caterpillar went round the rim, it counted that as an achievement and saw itself getting closer to the food. It could not distinguish activity from achievement.

And this is Mr Odinga’s problem. Like the caterpillar, he is busy at work alright. However, and because he is ‘powerless’, we must not confuse his activities with achievement

As for the vice-president, Mr Kalonzo Musyoka, we do not know what he does. As such, we cannot grade him. But we must also tell him the following: “…the best calculation is the absence of calculation” The fact that he is vague and ungradable is politically strategic.

And the strategy here is simple: they must never see you coming! The Deputy Prime Ministers, Mr Uhuru Kenyatta and Mr Musalia Mudavadi should be graded together.

For effort, I give them an “E minus” and for performance, I give them an “E minus” too. The two have potential, but they lack in guts and creativity. In fact, they are condemned to the ‘curse of permanent potential’.

In this curse, a story is told of a man who was very cautious. He never laughed or played. He never risked or dared. And when he passed away, his insurance was denied.

The argument was that he never really lived, and so how could he have died? This is the story of the two guys.

Regarding the other ministers, I suggest we put them in two lists. The first comprises of the performers, the other is made up of the goofers.

From the first list, Mr John Michuki gets an unqualified “A” for effort and an “A plus” for performance. This mzee is a serious Kenyan and ‘hats –off’ to him! Mr William Ruto and Ms Martha Karua get an “A” for their diligence in ministerial duties.

However, they get a “B minus” for their politics. And I am compelled into this grade by Napoleon Bonaparte. According to this strategist “ …in order to have ultimate victory, one must be ruthless”.

But one must temper their ruthlessness with a streak of charm. That is why Napoleon adds that “…a good king must wear a velvet glove behind his iron fist”. And this is what is lacking in the ruthless politics of Mr Ruto and Ms Karua.

This Christmas, I suggest that they acquire a pair of velvet gloves to cover their bare knuckles. The second list has Mr Makwere who gets a straight “F”.

Similarly, Mr Otieno Kajwang gets an “F” for playfulness. If I was a school teacher, I would recommend the expulsion of Mr Makwere and order Mr Kajwang to bring his mother to school the next term!

And now a Christmas message to our greedy MPs. As you enjoy your untaxed Sh800,000 this Christmas, I want to leave you with the words of Okot p’Bitek in “Song of an African Woman”.

“ …I do not ask for money, although I have need for it. I do not ask for meat, although I could do with some. I have only one request. And all I ask is that you remove the road block from my path!”

This Christmas we do not need your money and gifts. All we ask is for you to remove the obstacles you have set on our path! Is this too much to ask?

By MUTAHI NGUNYIPosted Saturday, December 20 2008 at 17:50

I'm dreaming of a sunny christmas

Living in this great land of multiple opportunities you get to appreciate Christmas and the holidays even more than others do, because deep down the Kenyan in you knows the true meaning of the holidays.
And what is the true meaning of Christmas you ask my friends?

1. It is definitely not the depressing replaying of slow jingle filled play lists that constitutes carols but the constant rumble of Mario by Franco from the row of bars at the local shopping center open all 8 days of the week including sunday.
2. It is not the singing about a good for nothing donkey named Rudolf and his red nose but about the nameless goat that just graduated summa cum laude to a half rack of ribs after years of intentional fattening just for this moment.
3. It is not about uncontrolled spending in buying of stuff the recipient will probably return if not re-gifted, but the sharing of stories and tales that are ceremoniously repeated by a certain relative 3 cousins deep that always feature a new twist every year.
4. Its never about a fat fictional old man who climbs down chimneys at night in the name of delivering gifts to thy young children (i think that's psycho and under psychological evaluation Santa/father Christmas would at some level qualify as a class A pedophile but that's just me thinking) .. but about genuine appreciation of time spent with thy children.
5. I don't know about you but playing in sub-zero temperatures is not something I'd want to do for long periods of time, even when the event is referred to as sledging. I'm liable to catch a cold. people do die of pneumonia ladies and gentlemen.
6. Do we really have to resort to spiking our milk to stay cheerful in this frigid temperatures so we can call this the good times, when we would all be requesting the next tusker baridi to quench that baada ya kazi.
   

I propose we pull a P-Diddy and remix this carols .. because right now I'm dreaming of a hot, sunny christmas somewhere in the vicinity of Maragua, with 8 cousins from the city who answer to similar names chasing the chicken, women in the smooty mud kitchen gossiping over burnt stew, fellow men argue the latest political casualty while turning the ribs on an open fire, sipping on a never ending supply of frothy beer.
Now that's is the REAL meaning of Christmas.
happy holidays everyone and have a merry merry Christmas

credits to darling. 

Politicians have poisoned regional market dream

Conventional wisdom provides for economies of scale as a platform for energising trade and industrialisation. The two are critical ingredients for jobs creation, which East African countries urgently require.

This is precisely what Europe set out to achieve more than two decades ago. Western European states agreed to bring down economic barriers by forming an economic bloc with vast economic resources and broader market. The move has spurred production and market access because of the large size of the population. The bloc has a common currency — the euro — and uniform tariffs, which cut substantially the cost of production and living.

Despite some hitches, the European Union has spurred growth in erstwhile tame economies. Spain, Portugal and Greece have been posting high economic growth, proof of which is the numbers of illegal migrants from Africa and Asia.

The transformation of the Organisation of African Unity into African Union was inspired by the economic benefits that accrue from the economies of scale — the more, the better. The larger the size of population, the more the economic benefits.

It is this economic concept that necessitated the formation of the East African Common Market, which according to the EAC treaty should come into force next year. However, political leaders have poisoned what was a good idea that would have been a major boost to the region’s weak economies.

The start of the process to collect and collate views on envisaged regional Common Market last week was marked with diffidence and apathy. This signals that the dream to integrate the economies of Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, Rwanda and Burundi — with a combined population of nearly 130 million people — is evaporating.

First, there is the longstanding fear and mistrust among founder members — Kenya, Uganda and Tanzania. The three countries have, since independence, acted like strange bedfellows in matters economic. Unequal levels of development has also been cited as one of the factors that derail formation of a common market to facilitate cross-border movement of goods, services and labour. Generally, these are excuses rather than reasons for procrastination. It is an open secret that political chauvinism and misplaced patriotism have replaced the original dream — a single economic entity.

Members of EA Legislative Assembly, who are currently collecting views on formation of the common market, were appalled by the low turnout when simultaneous sittings began last Monday in the five states. It is premature to make any serious conclusions about the future and viability of the bloc, but it is a fact that the enthusiasm that the concept had initially elicited has faded.

This is as a result of differences in thinking and execution of the few projects the envisaged economic bloc has undertaken jointly. The EAC Customs Union, which came into being in 2005, is dysfunctional with members constantly trading accusations – and insults – over discrepancies in its implementation. Free movement of labour may never takeoff, save for between Kenya and Rwanda.

These are two instances of discord in EAC. The region and its leaders are locked up in a time warp that can only be undone by economies of scale. A regional common market is evidently a long shot.

EA Standard

Would a Barack Obama even be possible in Kenya?

Barack Obama is now the president elect and Kenyans appear to be even more excited than the Americans about the prospect of an Obama presidency. I understand the excitement and even share in it, however now that some of the dust has settled Obama's victory got me thinking. Is Barak Obama even possible in Kenya. I will not mentioned the issues we have with tribe and ethnicity. Though they are huge. Even without these Kenyans are a unique set of people, an a diverse group. I recall when Richard Leakey and full blooded third generation white Kenyan attempted to run for president. He was rewarded with forty lashes of the nyahunyo and Kenyan sneers saying " Huyu Mzungu hajui kuwa tuli pata uhuru." What if he was the man for the job? What if Kenyan would have been better off with a Richard Leakey? What if the man for the job is different from the regular Kenyan? These are not part of the national discourse as we shout OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA. For Kenyans your cultural heritage in an inherent part of the equation of your eligibility.

Now to many Kenyans Leakey is an extreme example but how different would this be from Obama's historic victory in the USA. Kenya has a number of nationals who have only been allowed to participate on the periphery of Kenyan politics.Like minorities in the USA they have been allowed to participate on all other areas with relative success but have been kept away from the political arena. First, its the Asian or rather Kenyan's of Indian decent. These Kenyans have been stereotyped as corrupt and no good elements, I know we have had our share of no good Kenyan Indians, but it is no reason to black list the this or any other community based on the actions of a few. Kenyans will willingly accept Patel's contribution to the economy, even cheer Rajit where it concerns hockey and cricket, but do not touch siasa or atleast the highest levels of siasa. Hiyo ni kazi ya mwafrika mweneji wa kabila yangu. Perceptions of so called Kenyan Arabs is no better. Then there is the so called half-caste, who we canot quite place. Kenyans continue to view our lighter skinned brothers as peripheral to the nation's destiny.

Now I have to be fair here. The Mafrika is not solely at fault here. The entire Kenyan family has to play in the same sandbox; and want to play together. We have had selective self-segregation in our schools, residential areas, clubs and pubs, based on race, tribe, religion and or national origin. We need to grow. So for all the faults that are sited about America and American society, we as Kenyans have a lot to learn and grow on treating our own as equals. We need to expose our own issues, we will never change unless we Paza Sauti.

The lies about Jomo and Kenya

Jamhuri Day celebrations have just been concluded with pomp and pageantry. What, however, is critical to me is not the annual celebrations we have witnessed. Not even the honours some people might have received.

My concern is about the blatant lies associated with the occasion that we have been living with for a long time. Old wisdom informs us that when a lie is told several times, it actually turns into truth. At the risk of displeasing some people, let me highlight some political lies about Kenya and the late President Kenyatta.

We have been told several times that Kenya gained independence in 1963. We have also been informed that Kenyatta was not only the country’s founding father but also a quintessential freedom fighter. I have spent a lot of time perusing relevant documents to establish the veracity of these claims but I have not been able to find any truth in them.

Divide and rule

Colonial rule had certain fundamental pillars. Through a carefully conceived ‘divide and rule policy’, colonialism was implanted to secure the exploitation of Kenya’s human and material resources. In addition to promoting ethnic hostilities among the African communities, colonial rule was both dictatorial and intolerant.

Those who challenged colonial authorities were killed by the police, jailed or summarily detained without trial. Under the system, the imperial Governor presided over a prefectural network that ensured that British government policies were fully implemented.

On their part, the Africans paid taxes without representation and provided the cheap labour, which facilitated production of wealth. Influential public service jobs went to whites and very few African collaborators. Furthermore, most of Kenya’s productive land was alienated and given to Europeans. Education opportunities for the African people were scarce. Kenya belonged to the white people.

Kenya’s First President Mzee Jomo Kenyatta

In the past 45 years of African leadership, Kenya has been unable to deal with the problems the country experienced under formal colonialism. That is why I am proposing that since colonialism did not end in 1963, our celebration of the occasion is rather misguided. Biting poverty, police brutality, political intolerance, unfair distribution of resources and jobs, unemployment and ethnic parochialism continue to haunt every aspect of life in Kenya. Our past history shows that, in fact, 1963 was not the year of independence. Rather, it was the time when European colonialism was Africanised, making Kenyatta the first black governor.

Our struggle for the second liberation was hijacked in 1992 when Moi — the second black governor — took charge of the proceedings by pretending to be a democrat. He rigged the first serious multi-party polls since 1963 and retained the status quo.

In 2002, the peoples’ second attempt to overthrow Kenya’s black colonial rule seemed to succeed when Narc swept its way to power and promised real change. What followed, however, was an anticlimax of our dreams. In a recent interview with media officials, former Lurambi Member of Parliament Masinde Werangai captured the hopelessness of our political situation when he conceded that the promises of uhuru had not been fulfilled by successive Kenyan governments.

Genuine heroes

The lie that Jomo Kenyatta was the founding father of the country should not be allowed to continue. As truly conceived by genuine founding mothers and fathers, the Kenyan nation is yet to be born. What helped Kenyatta to rise to the top was his mastery of pretense and deceit. Kenyatta knew how to mimic what he was not. This is demonstrated by the way he easily changed names to hide his true self. Although he was born Kamau wa Ngengi, he changed to John Peter and by 1922, he had become Johnstone Kamau. While in Europe in the 1930s, he became Jomo Kenyatta. In 1963, Kamau wa Ngegi was simply known as Mzee Jomo Kenyatta. So what is the difference-in character and deed between President Kenyatta, Mzee, John Peter, Johnstone or Kamau? Was it safe for Kenyans to have entrusted the institution of the presidency in a person whose names kept changing?

After spending along time in Europe, Kenyatta returned home in 1946 and shortly seized the leadership the Kenya African Union party. Although he was mistakenly arrested and jailed for being a member of the Mau Mau, Kenyatta denounced the nationalist movement several times and eventually set the record straight during the Kapenguria trial of 1953.

His nationalist credentials were further undermined by the fact that during his presidency, he became the biggest land owner in Kenya when he acquired over 500,000 acres of land. Besides, he made it his top priority to punish and neutralize freedom fighters who questioned his political practices.

Crushed dissent

Throughout his rule, Kenyatta did not hold any presidential elections to test his popularity. It is tragic that such a person has been branded founding father and freedom fighter.

Like the colonial governor before him, Kenyatta crushed dissent without mercy, terrorised political opponents using the police and detained without trial those with divergent opinions.

Contrary to the dreams and aspirations of the freedom fighters, Kenyatta failed to unite Kenya when he embarked on the programme of Kikuyunizing the public service, by replacing the outgoing Europeans with his own kinsmen. At the height of his presidency, he failed to appreciate Kenya’s diversity when he receded to his own ethnic cocoon.

This was not surprising because, from the very beginning, Kenyatta’s political operations revolved around Kikuyu nationalism. It is noted that as early as 1929, he had been sent to London by the Kikuyu Central Association to lobby for Kikuyu tribal land rights. He even edited a tribal newspaper, Muigwithania.

We have to recognise that the struggle for independence which began in the early 1890s when British rule was imposed on our people was never concluded in 1963, 1992, 2002 or 2007. It continues to date. In addition, the true heroes of Kenya’s liberation combat include the brave fighters of the Chetambe War of 1890s, the champions of the Mau Mau era as well as the stalwarts of the Giriama and the Nandi resistance. These people deserve respect and recognition.

Individuals who should make the list of founding fathers and mothers of Kenya should not be Jomo Kenyatta and his fellow traitors of the freedom struggle. Genuine freedom fighters include, Mekatili wa Menza, Koitalel arap Samoei, Harry Thuku, Fred Kubai, Bildad Kaggia, Masinde Muliro, Elijah Masinde, and Jaramogi Odinga Oginga, among others. Contemporary scholars have an obligation to the people of Kenya to rewrite our history by correcting the lies we have lived with for a long time.

By Dr. Edward Kisiang’ani

Dr Kisiang’ani teaches History and Political Studies at Kenyatta University.

Kisiangani2007@gmail.com